This Blog Post Will Have An Unnecessarily Long Title Due To The Fact That I Could Not Come Up With Something Snappy And Cool To Use Instead.

I think I want to start a collection.

I don’t really know what to collect, but it has to be cool.

I mean, I could start small, with stamps. Except stamps are cliché and lame. So those are out. But I could collect something exciting like…holographic Pokémon cards. Or multi-colored paper clips.

Paper clips could be cool. I could use that as my go-to topic of conversation when I’m out at a party and wow all the boys with my paper clip collection. What a great conversation piece.

Hold on a sec.

...

So I just Googled multi-colored paper clips, and apparently there aren’t that many colors to chose from. My collection would ultimately consist of roughly twelve paper clips. So it’s a no go.

Anyway, I couldn’t come up with anything, so I thought it would be a good idea to investigate what other people collect and get some ideas. So I decided to look into the collections of well-known celebrities.

Here's what I found: Lindsay Lohan collects DUIs, Mike “The Situation” collects V-cards, Bill Gates collects money, Heidi Montag collects plastic body parts…

...all of those were either too expensive, too emotionally tolling, or simply impossible to achieve.

But don't worry, I have other options.

For instance, I could collect people. I mean, Angelina Jolie collects kids. Elizabeth Taylor collects husbands (and jewelry). Ashton Kutcher collects Twitter Followers. Joe Jonas collects angry ex-girlfriends. Hugh Hefner collects anorexic gold diggers. I could totally do something like that…

Or hey! My real Dad collects animals! Like deer heads mounted in the living room and bears-converted-into-rugs! Or even stuffed squirrels!

I could be known as the Girl Who Collects Previously Grotesque Roadkill And Turns It Into Gorgeous Living Room Centerpieces.

It sounds nice, but I want to be original. Plus dead animal décor really freaks me out. And I don’t like it.

After a long and fruitless internet search, I've decided that I can't really commit to any one thing right now. There are just too many options to choose from.

Come to find out, it’s really very exhausting to collect things. Or really just to come up with something to collect.

If any of you have any ideas, feel free to let me know.