Last night, for example, I was on a big empty ship in the middle of the ocean with no food whatsoever. I'm pretty sure I was wearing a white wedding dress and blue sneakers. Why I was wearing this hideously clashing ensemble, I'll never know. Anyway, I was alone and hungry and disoriented and angry about my predicament, so I thought that it would be best if I caught myself a fish for dinner. So I found a broom and used the drawstring off of a random pair of sweatpants I found lying around and made a nifty little fishing pole. Apparently in my dreams I have the handiness of a boy scout and the resourcefulness of Xena the Warrior Princess. Anyway, I was waiting for my prey when there was a pretty hard tug at the line (or, well, drawstring).
I pulled it up and I'd caught...
...Robin Williams.
Like, what the heck? But wait...it gets better.
So I reel in Robin Williams and he's speaking...well, I think he was speaking Martian. He kept talking about some intergalactic mission or spaceship or something (I'm pretty sure my mind was inspired by Star Wars episodes, so that kind of makes sense). I didn't understand a word he said. But then I glanced to my left and I saw a light off the water so I hushed Robin Williams and told him to start paddling the boat toward the light. Somehow he understood me. I don't know where we got oars from, but we did. So we rowed and rowed and rowed and rowed until the light was only about a mile from us. I was sure that we were going to be saved until I realized that the light was really just a small fire on a highly combustible-yet-miraculously-incombustible makeshift raft floating on the sea. I remember Dream-Me thinking, "Well, that could have been disastrous...good thing it's not on fire." But we approach it anyway. And guess who was on the raft? If you guessed Tom Hanks from Castaway and Wilson, the volleyball, you guessed right.
I'm not kidding, folks.
So it goes that Robin Williams, Tom Hanks, Wilson and I are rowing around in circles on the sea. Robin Williams and Tom Hanks get into a little spat, yadda yadda yadda, and then Robin Williams decides that it would be a spectacular idea to throw Wilson overboard as a sort of sacrifice to the goddess of the ocean or something like that (Oh, p.s. he was speaking English by this time because obviously everyone in dreams speaks a Universal language).
Well, as Robin Williams hurls Wilson overboard, Tom Hanks gasps in horror (it was really quite dramatic if I remember correctly) and runs for cover. So naturally I decide to hide as well behind a sack of potatoes (which obviously weren't there before because I would have definitely eaten them). Then, up out of the water, pops this giant fish-man with Wilson the volleyball for a head! Apparently he had magic powers or something because he transformed into pretty much the most hideous excuse for a fish-man imaginable. So then I'm all, "What the heck?!?!" And I'm semi-crying from fear and desperation and cursing the fact that I'm not dressed in black to blend in a little better to the boat (which was apparently black). Wilson the volleyball-fish-man was terribly frightening. He was definitely twenty feet tall and smelled awful. He also spewed fire. Pretty sure about that.
This is where stuff gets kind of hazy, but I do remember running for my life (that's where the blue sneakers came in handy) and chucking potatoes at Wilson the half-fish-half-man-and-part-volleyball-freak. Robin Williams was unfortunately captured by the monster and perished in the sea early in our epic battle for survival, but Tom Hanks and I were holding our own, pelting him with potatoes and screaming profanities at the top of our lungs (actually, it was really just Tom Hanks who was cursing, but I didn't really mind because he was getting pretty creative).
Then, once we realized that we were running low on potatoes, Tom Hanks decided to tame the beast with music which would lull him into a peaceful sleep for sure. The only song he knew was "You've Got a Friend in Me", so he sang it for Wilson the fishman. In case any of you were wondering, Tom Hanks has a lovely voice. In no time Wilson was tamed, and that godforsaken volleyball just drifted off to sleep.
Some other stuff happened, but I don't really remember it. I do remember a brief encounter with an albino black bear and something about mexican jumping beans, but that's about it.
I don't really know where I was going with this post.
I guess I just wanted to share.
I've heard that dreams are designed by the last thought you have before you fall asleep, or from something brewing in your "innermost conscience", a big, unknown pit of Freudian...stuff. Anyway, if my dreams are any indication of what I'm unknowingly thinking or wanting or whatever deep in my heart, then I'm pretty screwed up.
Though, still quite imaginative.
Just sayin'.
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